I'm going to lose my mind. I live in a very old house, and my neighbor who lives on the floor below me has been in this same place since she was a little girl. She has grown old with this house and seen everything around her change with time. When I moved in here a number of years ago, she was a bright-eyed and kind-hearted woman with roots in this neighborhood that went deeper than any tree.

Now, after much heartbreak for those who know her, she has lost a bit of what made her who she was. Old age stole away much of her lucidity and she has become what many would call "senile." She still remains a sweet old woman, but is a bit of a danger to herself at times. Where one she would ring my bell to give me hard candies and home made bread, now she rings the bell because she is terrified of some invisible man lurking nearby, scheming to do her harm. She has started calling me by the name of her long-dead son whom she lost all too early in life, and her eyes are constantly filled with worry and fear.

Lately (in the past year) she has taken to wandering out into the streets aimlessly. Once, she actually got robbed and her son (still alive) decided to get an in home caretaker for her. Whenever the caretaker can't be around, they lock her in her home. Dead bolts on the top of the doors.

I just walked out into the backyard to let my dog do her business and saw Gina staring at me out her kitchen window. She asked me to come to the front door and I did. She pointed at the doorknob and stared at me with longing and sadness deep in her old weathered eyes and pulled on the door, to no avail. She wanted to go out, to see the neighborhood that she loves and visit her daughter who lives across the street but ignores her almost completely. I knew I couldn't open the door, the bolt was on the other side, and it wasn't my place anyways. I shook my head, "no, I can't open the door, Gina."

Her eyes filled with tears and all she said was "please." I had to turn away and go back upstairs. Now, for the last half hour, she has been using all her strength to pound on the walls and doors and scream, crying as she is trapped in her own home. The house (old and hollow) shakes and booms with this sweet old lady's frenzied bid for escape...

It's like this almost every week. I think I'm literally losing my mind. I feel like such a terrible person for living here and doing nothing for this woman, but I know I can't. Somebody... I need a freaking hug.